My life's reflection through the Book of Nehemiah: GATES - THE OLD GATE Part 2 (UNFORGIVENESS)

 

How can I live a meaningful life in 2019, if I don't understand what I did wrong in the past??

 

The only way I can reflect on the past mistakes and actually improve on them, is to know where I missed the mark.....

 

And that's how it works in God's Kingdom.  You can only improve your life, your character, your spirit, your relationships, if you sit and face hard truths....

 

One hard truth I have to admit to is UNFORGIVENESS.

 

I am faced currently with a situation where I have been wronged in so many ways by family members but what do I do?  Do I stay mad?  Do I sit and concoct ways of getting even?  Do I retaliate further by hating others around me just in case they might hurt me as well?  Do I become a zestpool of bitterness and hatred?

 

I have had a really tough year emotionally!  And I really am struggling to forgive, forget and move on.  I have been gossiped about behind my back, written out of that part of the family, falsely accused and so much more.  I have so many times thought of getting back and so much better.... getting even!!!

 

 

But this week, I had a mind-blowing, Holy Spirit-inspired revelation that I cannot keep to myself - its too valuable not to share.....

 

I have heard so many times in my life

"Just forgive"

"That's the Christian thing to do"

"What would Jesus do?"

 

But in all honesty, when I'm angry, I don't want to be Christ-like.  I don't want to do the right thing - I want to do the thing that makes me momentarily feel better. 

I want to take justice into my own hands and retaliate and hurt them even more than they've hurt me....

 

Then last week, the Holy Spirit spoke into my spirit that I need to forgive and let go....

So, as in the past, I knew better than to argue and I started asking God to open this up for me cause I don't understand it.

 

Then Father, in His love and mercy, gave me the following scriptures:

1 Peter 3:9a

Never return evil for evil or insult for insult (scolding, tongue-lashing, berating), but on the contrary blessing (praying for their welfare, happiness, and protection, and truly pitying and loving them).

 

Matthew 5:44

But I (Jesus) tell you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

 

Now, its one thing to forgive, but it is an entirely different thing to actually pray for my enemies who belittled me; who slandered me; and who has had only persecution in mind for me!!!

 

But then 1 Peter 3:9b goes on by saying:

For know that to this you have been called that you may yourselves inherit a blessing (from God - that you may obtain a blessing as heirs, bringing welfare and happiness and protection).

 

Oh sherbet - TO THIS I HAVE BEEN CALLED????

 

And... if I want to experience God's blessing, His protection, His happiness I HAVE to do it??

 

But then Holy Spirit took me to:

Romans 12:14;19-20

Bless those who persecute you (who are cruel in their attitude toward you); bless and do not curse them.

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for God's wrath, for it is written, Vengeance is Mine, I will replay (requite) says the Lord.

 

And I realised that all the while I've been standing in God's way Who actually wanted to do the avenging on my behalf.

How am I standing in the way?

By NOT forgiving and letting go.......

 

..................... to be continued in 2019